RHINO TIMES | Thursday, March 16, 2017 | www.rhinotimes.com
Odell Auditorium • GSO College
815 W. Market St.
The Princess and the Magic Pea
The Children’s Theatre presents The Princess
and the Magic Pea, a lively musical version of
Hans Christian Anderson’s classic tale about a
prince searching for a true princess.
Shows are Friday, March 17 at 7:30 p.m., Saturday,
March 18 at 11 a.m. and 2 p.m., and Sunday,
March 19 at 2 p.m. Tickets are $8. For more
information, call the box offi ce at (336) 335-6426
or visit www.thedramacenter.com.
219 N. Church St.
Enjoy a free family-friendly fi lm in the children’s
programming room on Saturdays at 2 p.m. March
18 is Brave, March 25 is Nanny McPhee Returns
and April 1 is Zathura. For information, call (336)
373-2471 or visit greensboro-nc.gov.
KATHLEEN CLAY EDWARDS LIBRARY
1420 Price Park Road
Family Vegetable Gardening
Saturday, March 18 at 11 a.m., master gardeners
will teach hands-on gardening activities indoors
for children ages 5 and older while parents attend
a separate adult vegetable gardening class. This
event is free. For more information, call (336)
373-2923 or visit greensboro-nc.gov.
MOREHEAD RECREATION CENTER
101 Price Street, High Point
Stop, Drop and Roll
Saturday, March 18 from noon to 1 p.m., see what
it would be like to become a fi refi ghter – meet
with local fi refi ghters and see what equipment
they use, along with a tour of the big red truck.
For ages 5 to 8. The cost is $2. For more
information, visit highpointnc.gov.
1206 Bridford Parkway &
1616 Highwoods Blvd.
Saturday, March 18 from 10 a.m. to noon, kids 3
and up can enjoy a quick make and take project.
The cost is $2 and supplies are included. For
more information, visit michaels.com.
This schedule brought to you by your
friends & neighbors at
Coldwell Banker (336) 282-4414
(continued from page 15)
friend and sister-in-law who passed away a year
ago last Christmas. Yeah, I do my best writing
when I’m reminded of grief and loss.
How dare Microsoft decide to override my
clear instructions? Images from this directory and
no other, I said.
Nanner nanner, Microsoft replies.
Simple solution: Remove all the pictures of
friends and family from my computer. Then
Windows can’t find them.
But I shouldn’t have to do that, should I? I want
them there so I can look at them when I choose.
I’ve already tried the third-party software that’s
supposedly best, but it’s kind of lousy. So ... I
have to get used to being emotionally blindsided
by Windows 10 while I’m trying to work. Isn’t it
wonderful how computers empower us?
A friend recently had his iPhone die on him.
During the days before he could buy a new one,
he went through something worse than withdrawal.
Our phones are now so much a part of our daily
experiences that when the phone suddenly fails,
our response is more akin to grief.
It’s not a long-term grief, of course. After we
buy a new phone and download all the apps we
can’t live without, we’ll forget that old phone soon
enough. I never wish I still had my old flip phone or
my old BlackBerry – oh, wait, sometimes I do wish
that – but in truth, Android and Samsung have
done a pretty good job of creating an appliance
that does what I need.
It’s not like my real computers, where I do my
daily work. The smartphone, the tablet – they’re
for keeping track of emails and messages when
something time-sensitive is going on, and playing
games or tracking my Fitbit or checking our homesecurity
cameras. But this is like having a secretary
who takes messages for you, passes through some
phone calls, hands you a list of mail to choose to
read, and then, when you’re bored, will sit down
and play a game with you.
And you don’t have to pay the phone a salary or
withhold taxes. Phone charges are trivial compared
to that. You just have to plug it in at night (or
whenever) and try to keep it close to the bars.
But when my friend’s phone died the death
– flickery screen, and then no screen at all –
there was no condolence card I could send him.
Hallmark, what are you thinking? How could you
miss this niche?
“I’m so sorry your phone broke. // Don’t even
imagine that I’ll lend you mine.”
“Lost your phone? // That doesn’t happen to
people who know how to take care of nice things.”
“Condolences on forgetting your password. //
Have you tried ‘password’? How about ‘0000’?
“I hear that Apple just obsoleted your iPhone. //
Now will you finally leave the Evil Empire and
join the Rebellion?”
There are other occasions that need greeting
cards, and don’t have them. For instance:
“Oh no! It’s raining in California! // Search on
Amazon.com for ‘umbrella.’ Of course, by the time
Amazon gets it to you, you’ll be back in a drought.”
“Did a March cold snap kill the blossoms in your
garden? // Southerners should know by now: Never
trust a Spring that begins in January.”
“You poor thing. That wonderful new TV series
you’ve been meaning to watch // is already over.
Now you have to bingewatch 39 episodes in
order to converse with anybody.”
Yeah, I know. None of these greeting cards
rhymed. If you care enough to send the very best,
buy Hallmark. I only produce greeting cards that
are good enough for who they’re fer.
When Michael Connelly began writing his deep
and gripping novels starring LAPD detective Harry
Bosch, Paramount immediately optioned a couple
of them and began, according to contract, to
develop them for fi lm.
Except ... nothing ever got filmed. A couple
of other Connelly characters got movies – Blood
Work starred, and was directed by, Clint Eastwood,
and Michael McConaughey played Mick Haller in
The Lincoln Lawyer. (That last fi lm was directed
by Brad Furman, whose earliest IMDbPro credit
is as Julia Roberts’ personal assistant on Erin
Brockovich. Hollywood careers begin however
Connelly has great fun with his characters
getting fi lmed. In later Mick Haller novels, Haller
comments on the movie Lincoln Lawyer, which was
based on him.
Eventually, Connelly was able to get Harry
Bosch out of Paramount’s “development hell”
– a suitable place, it seemed, for a character
named “Hieronymus Bosch,” a painter best known
for grotesque images of hell. The trouble with
getting a fi lm out of the jaws of a studio is that they
demand complete repayment of all their costs.
Not just the money they paid the writer for
the rights, but also every dime they spent on
screenwriters who created never-filmed scripts. At
no point do any of the studios accept the risks that
every other business incurs. Never do they say,
Yes, we hired the wrong writers, our bad, you don’t
have to pay us back for scripts we should never
No, the studios must recover every dime. When
they’re dealing with each other – you know, when
Fox picks up a project from Paramount’s turnaround
– then Paramount is probably going to charge Fox
exactly what Paramount spent.
But when it’s the author buying back his
rights, they use standard studio never-a-profit
accounting – you know, the accounting system
that makes it so that huge hit movies never make a
“profi t,” keeping people with a percentage of profi ts
from ever getting paid.
Connelly sued the studio just so the courts would
supervise the accounting of Paramount’s expenses.
They ended up with an agreement that included, of
course, complete nondisclosure. So we don’t know
what Connelly had to pay to buy back the rights to
his characters from a company that never made the
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